The next time you find yourself with a hankering. The next time you think to yourself, "I want something satisfying. Something that will fill me, but not make me feel guilty." Well, friend, the next time these thoughts come whispering through your head, we want you to think of one thing. It's a treat you'll be able to savor not only for it's delicious hints of real southern hospitality, but for its subtle notes of old-world-style mentality. One sample, and we can assure you, you're gonna want to know what makes it so good. But that's a time honored tradition that's been honed over generations, and not something we're willing to share with just any ole' yahoo or city slicker who comes tramping through these parts.
But because you people found fit to shoot on past yet another anti-stretch goal, the Mississippi boys at Certifiable Studios decided you all deserved to experience this deep south original all for yourselves. That's why each evening as the sun prepares to set, and when this tantalizing sense-sensation is at the peak of perfection, they venture out into the relatively cleanest Mississippi forests within walking distance and hand-select only the choicest, finest glassfuls... just for you. Then they box it up, seal it tight, and set it aside.
Again... just for you.
It's not the easiest chore in the world, But when you feel the way they do about backers, this kind of trouble... is no trouble at all.
You keep on dropping those ASGs, people.
'Cause the quality of rewards we're offering? Why, they're just getting better from here.
FACEBOOK AMA STARTS... NOW 4PM US CST. So, likely, waaaaaaay before you considered reading this update.
WE ARE ALL OUT OF OPTIONS
over 7 years ago
– Fri, Sep 30, 2016 at 12:30:16 AM
We don't understand. What more do we have to do? We've been nice up to this point, and even warned you what might happen if you kept hitting the Anti Stretch Goals. But NO. Not only did you not heed our warnings, but you are seemingly insatiable. And to make matters worse, you are making us update you for the 3rd time in 24 hours! Remember...this is all your fault! If you want these updates to stop, you know what to do.
And for the love of Orphans, please don't make matters worse by reaching the Social Stretch Goals! To make sure this doesn't happen, whatever you do...
Don't follow us on Twitter. @WERCERTIFIABLE
Don't follow Jesse on Instagram. @LABBEJESSE
And absolutely DO NOT SEND PROOF that you can be nice to your local children's group or home.
Some advice: To NOT get annoying updates from us in the future...Please don't follow us on Kickstarter. How much punishment can one backer take?
And finally, be sure to avoid tomorrow's live feed.
LIVE ACA FACEBOOK FEED
4pm US CST tomorrow (Friday 9/30)
If you miss THIS, you'll thank yourself later!
-RICK (filling in for Opie)
No whining about multi-updates! YOU GUYS did the ASG unlocking, not us.
over 7 years ago
– Thu, Sep 29, 2016 at 12:29:01 AM
Just HAD to unlock the first ANTI-STRETCH GOAL a few hours after the last update, didn't ya? DIDN'T YA?
The NEXT ANTI-STRETCH GOAL...? We're gonna deface some ACTUAL game related stuff, people. We'll freaking do it!
THE ONE UPDATE **EVERY** BACKER SHOULD SEE
over 7 years ago
– Thu, Sep 29, 2016 at 12:27:15 AM
Look... this video says it all:
1st RULE: You do not talk about ANTI STRETCH GOALS.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about ANTI STRETCH GOALS.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out… the ANTI STRETCH GOALS get WORSE.
4th RULE: ANTI STRETCH GOALS are #myidea.
5th RULE: One complaint at a time, people (as long as rule#1 is observed)
6th RULE: No pants.
7th RULE: ANTI STRETCH GOALS will go on as long as they have to.
8th Rule: YOU CANNOT COMPLAIN ABOUT THINGS YOU CANNOT TALK ABOUT.
9th RULE: If this is your first time dealing with Certifiable Studios, you HAVE to follow them on Kickstarter.
I personally don't want to worry or upset you more than is necessary, so I won't reveal the anti-stretch goals until after the goal amount is hit (Well, it being ME... until WAY after, but... yeah... whatever.)
I think it's clear that the ONLY way we will stop this oncoming train of travesty is to make sure EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU KNOW is aware of this campaign. Right now. Just... just go tell people. Tell them how much we have to stop this. God's speed. Good luck. And, should we keep pushing into the $200,000s... may Orphans have mercy on your souls.
LIVE ACA THIS FRIDAY @ 4:00 US CST
After the abysmal failure of our LIVE RICK MAIL UNBOXING yesterday, we've realized we have nothing to fear from doing these live remote thingies, and so we will be hosting a HALF-HOUR Ask Certifiable Anything Broadcast via our Facebook Page THIS COMING FRIDAY at 4:00PM US CST. We'll be fielding questions and even opening a few more letters and packages Rick received. We're looking forward to having nobody log in except for Jesse's mother... and we already know the answers to her questions. "Yes, Ms. Labbe... Jesse IS adorable!" "Oh, absolutely, he IS the most talented widdle artist in the whole-wide-world...yes he is..."
And we can't end this without giving a big thank you/shout out/hug from Rick to Comment Cove Super Contributor CDMARINE for her package. (tee-hee)
This is from us, to her (and to all of you...)
WILL RICK LIVE THROUGH OUR FIRST "LIVE UPDATE"?
over 7 years ago
– Tue, Sep 27, 2016 at 11:35:58 PM
TODAY 5PM US CST LIVE ON OUR FACEBOOK PAGE
While everyone has been waiting for the Anti Stretch Goals to be announced, Rick has been trying to decide if he should open any of these social media letters.
Then... this arrived:
Please note it cost this backer more to MAIL this to us than we're charging for our game.
Considering the volume of glitter-bomb threats Rick has received, he's a bit paranoid. So we will have a LIVE "unboxing" of this package via our Facebook page at 5pm CST US TODAY. Here's a COUNTDOWN LINK. Our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/certifiablestudios/
We'll also be giving out the Rick-related part of the first unlocked social media goal, so tune in if you can. (If you can't, don't worry... we'll be SURE to get it to everyone after.)
And finally, I know everyone is grumbling about the Anti-Stretch Goals / Post $200,000 announcements. I'll be putting up the first half after the live feed... and tomorrow you'll get the official UPDATE notification and info on the rest.
